My Top Ten Video Games I’ve Ever Played (Pt. 2)

Previously on MTTVGIEP: Games. Now, let’s get back to the show. Today we shall delve from numbers 5-1. If you haven’t read the previous 5, I suggest you do. Or not, whatever.

#5: Super Mario Sunshine (Gamecube)

If the princess is on vacation, who runs the kingdom? Is it Daisy?

For some reason, this game seems like it flies under the radar despite critically positive reviews. Maybe it’s just because I don’t hear about people talking about it. They always talk about the old Super Mario World games, or Super Mario 64… perhaps New Super Mario Bros for the newer players. For me, however, my favorite Mario game I’ve ever played is Super Mario Sunshine. This game seems to prove that you can really drop Mario wherever you want and he’ll deliver. This game has greatness all around: a good story, an amazing place to run around in, and plenty of high-caliber levels. Running around Delfino Island and all of its connecting places was some of the best times I’ve ever had playing video games. In fact, if I could do one thing in real life that you do in video games, I’d Blooper surf like you do in Rico Harbor.

I get the feeling PETA would want to get involved.

Like all games, there are a couple flaws: the camera is pretty poor and the voice acting is grating, but that doesn’t really take away from the overall experience. Whether you’re hovering over a broken bridge in Bianco Hill or traversing a dangerous volcano to defeat the final boss, you’re guaranteed to have a good time on Delfino Island, even if the cops are always on you to clean up a mess you didn’t make.

Since when has Mario been translucent, you lazy sacks of fat?

#4: Timesplitters: Future Perfect (Gamecube)

It’s time to split!

With all the new shooters that come out yearly, what are they missing? A sense of humor perhaps, or a plot that you can truly get immersed in and care about what happens. Perhaps even that same plot moving throughout different points in time where you meet many quaint characters.

Characters with lots of personality.

Yes, the modern shooter is missing Timesplitters. Timesplitters is a shooter where you go to different points in time to stop an evil scientist from stealing the time crystals, which are currently needed in the future to stop the aforementioned Timesplitters. You are Hector Cortez, the only thing standing between salvation and destruction. What I’ve already mentioned is how fun this game is to play, with its great characters, settings, plot, and shooting action. But that’s not all! The multiplayer action is beautiful, with lots of fun times to be had with your friends killing bots and each other (I hope you play as the monkeys, for it is the only way). Deathmatch, virus, capture the bag: it all plays out wonderfully through a variety of excellent levels.

An important character for her role in the plot and nothing else.

I’d like to end this part with a small story. Can I? Oh, it’s my blog; of course I can! My brother and I were playing multiplayer Timesplitters one night, and we were trying to avoid killing each other. After the eighth time I killed him, this exchange happened:

CJ: That’s it! I’m tired of you killing me. You’d better watch your back.

Me: I can’t. This is a first person shooter.

Classic.

#3: Super Smash Bros. Brawl (Wii)

Obtained: Best console multiplayer ever. Lost: One TV.

What more can you say about this game? It’s pretty much THE best amalgamation of different game series to ever be created (suck on THAT, MvC) with some of the best fun to have with friends of all time. I’m not sure what more I could say about a game this good that nearly everyone has played, so let’s just say this: Yoshi is the bomb diggity.

If she was the princess while Peach was on vacation, she’d never finish greeting everyone.

#2: Luigi’s Mansion (Gamecube)

Always accept free mansions in contests you didn’t enter.

I’ve recently been replaying this game (as I’ve beaten the game several times before), and it’s at least proof to me that time has not clouded the awesomeness that is this game. Luigi, the forgotten brother of the Mario Bros, has won a mansion in a contest he didn’t enter, and decides to head up there after Mario goes missing. Turns out he was kidnapped (similarly to the critically-avoided ‘game’ Mario is Missing), and it’s up to Luigi to save the day using the technology created by one Professor E. Gadd.

Wait, wrong invention.

Similar in a darker way to Super Mario Sunshine, Luigi’s Mansion has a great number of rooms to traverse as you attempt to free Mario. While the puzzles are simple, they’re fun to implement, and there’s plenty of unique ghosts to suck up and riches to collect.

You know Weegie gots to get paid.

When you finally defeat King Boo and have a gallery full of ghost paintings, you know that, truly, Jackson Pollack’s got nothing on you. Still can’t catch those blue ghosts, though…

#1: Team Fortress 2 (Steam)

By the people, for the hats.

You knew this was coming. After playing 1,321 hours in this game, there really wasn’t anything else that could top the world’s greatest hat simulator (there’s even a game hidden behind the hats!). It’s not just the hats, of course: there really isn’t anything more fun than shooting a bunch of cocky strangers and saying silly, often-hilarious one-liners from the strangest mish-mash of characters in a shooter. After countless kills (well, the strange weapons count them…), the fact that this game is free gives no one an excuse not to play it.

Well, that’s the top ten. Remember, this was my personal top ten, so it’s all subjective to my personal opinions. Still, they’re all great games that warrant at least a couple hours of play. So, in conclusion-

Hi, I’m Daisy!

Get out of the blog, Daisy!

My Top Ten Video Games I’ve Ever Played (Pt. 1)

It’s been four months since I’ve made a blog post, huh? Well let’s change that! Today’s topic shall be video games, specifically my top ten video games I’ve ever played (where have I heard that before?). Here’s how it’ll go: 10-6 will be on this blog post, and the next post will have 5-1. Enough with that: let’s begin.

#10: Tony Hawk’s Downhill Jam (Wii)

Ages 3+, apparently.

The first choice will be an odd choice to some. I know because Game Informer gave this game a 5/10. So how did it make the top 10? Well, I like it, so screw you. Seriously though, this is probably the most fun Tony Hawk games since the Pro Skater series, which I admittedly barely remember. It’s actually fun to ride downhill all the time, and there’s enough content and levels to keep a player interested for awhile. So, in conclusion, screw you.

#9: Slender (Mac)

Don’t look behind you.

Yes, it’s now called Slender: The Eight Pages now, but when I played it, it was just called Slender, and the new version apparently doesn’t have $20 mode, which is quite the sin. While the game isn’t actually that long (within ten minutes, you’ll either have all the pages or, most likely, be raped), it’s terrifying enough to be my favorite horror game of all time, just beating out Amnesia: The Dark Descent. With Amnesia: A Machine for Pigs and Slender: The Arrival coming out this year, we’ll have to see if either of these games can unseat Slender as the scariest game I’ve ever played.

#8: Portal 2 (Steam)

The original space program.

This one’s probably another interesting choice, since it’s mostly a puzzle game, and I hate puzzle games. However, this one destroys all other puzzle games (even its own predecessor) by actually making you feel good at completing things and not having every puzzle have some obscure solution. Plus, the dialogue is actually funny and the controls… control well. I’m starting to realize there aren’t a lot of words being written in this blog. Maybe the next one will be better. It’ll be the top 5 after all.

#7: Kirby Air Ride (Gamecube)

I want to eat you in the best possible way.

Here’s another pseudo-racing game that I had a lot of fun playing back in the day, but like another game that’s later in this countdown, this one was most fun with friends. My friends and I would hop in and start smashing everything in sight: trees, buildings, each other; nothing was safe from Kirby’s adorable wrath. We played this game several times, resetting it because we were bored. Top Ride and City Ride were the best of the three modes, so I guess it’s ironic that the least fun mode was Air Ride. If actually accomplishing something was too boring, we’d jump into Free Ride and plays Cops and Robbers. One person is a cop and the rest are the robbers, and the cops need to beat the crap out of the robbers until the explode, and since they’re pink squishy beings, you can slap them around the city with your big cart of destruction. For added excitement, jump onto the city rails and see who chickens out before you crash into each other going top speeds with your destructo-carts (spoiler: it’s neither. You can’t hop off the rails unless you’re at a station. Have fun dying!).

#6: Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (Steam)

Perpetuating racial stereotypes since 1997.

I had been wanting to play this game for a long time before I finally got it on Steam, but my mom refused to let me get the DS one, Chinatown Wars. I wonder why she wouldn’t let me buy it-

Oh. Right.

Okay, so maybe there’s a bit of violence. Let’s just pretend all of those pedestrians I ran over as I drove on the sidewalk were child molesters. I actually spent the first part of the game trying to not hit any cops, until one literally jumped in front of my car. I guess there’s truly no justice. But all in all, all that stuff is what makes the game fun. The over-the-top silliness that is jumping in a car and running over everything and everyone in your path. It’s a great game, and sure, I’m killing everybody in San Andreas, but at least I’m not actually killing people. It’s a video game, not a murder training simulator.

Next time, the top 5 shall be shown! Hopefully it’ll be better written than this one was.