As I woke up this morning, I decided to see how Inferno was doing. I let him out of his pokéball, letting him stretch his legs. He was fine; that’s good. I went to the PC and attempted to get my new Gastly out of it, but I couldn’t access it. I asked the nurse what was going on and she told me that all their PCs got viruses, so they had to fix them before Pokémon could be transferred. Great; they really should start using Macs.

Eventually I got Shadow (Gastly) out of the computer to replace Caitlin, so now I was on my way to the gym: I was ready to defeat Falkner! I stormed into the joint and laid waste to his lackeys, sending them to sheer defeat. It was time for the leader. Falkner looked up as I approached and welcomed me into his sanctuary. This gym, like all the other gyms, had a proud history of using one type of Pokémon without any diversification. “Yes, all my Pokémon are weak to the same types. Why do you ask?” This’ll be fun. Falkner sent out his Pidgey, so I countered with Inferno.

His Pidgey attacked Inferno with a series of weak flying moves, but he clearly was outmatched by my fiery destroyer (patent pending), who burned that bird to a crisp with ember. That was an easy first victory for su-oh wait, what’s this? Inferno is glowing! That’s right saan, Inferno evolved into Quilava! That’s what’s up! That was enough for now though: Stallone would take the final battle versus Pidgeotto. This would be an epic battle, right? Rock Throw, dead. Oh, okay, maybe not. Victory is mine!

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Two birds, one stone.

I walk out of the gym, triumphant with my first gym badge, when the professor gives me a call. He got tired of the egg and it’s now my job to take care of it. Oh… what a letdown. I decided to try and hatch the egg when I obtained it from his assistant, so I put Dahlia in the PC for a breather and took the egg. I tried to continue on my way, but a geisha confronts me and tells me to look after the egg. Ok… I planned to, lady. What do you think I’m gonna do, scramble it? Well, at least it’s a woman who’s being creepy to me now instead of a man.

I decided to head back to Elm for reasons I can no longer recall, but I caught some more Pokémon! They included Aeris (Pidgey), Fungo (Sentret), and Chrysalis (Caterpie). Out of three, I decided to put Aeris into the team. Sorry Blathers, maybe another time. So now I’m back in Violet City, and I can head off to Route 36… or not, because there’s a tree blocking the way. The thought of cutting the tree down hasn’t occurred to anyone, so I guess I’m just going down through Route 32.

Now I find myself in some mysterious ruins. I gaze about this site of ruin excavation, and I reason that, as a ten-year-old kid, I shouldn’t be running around here. As it turns out, I was wrong, because I not only can explore the ruins, I can frikken touch them and solve puzzles. Well, so much for look, don’t touch. I decided to try out the puzzle, and what do ya know, I solved it! A Kabuto, huh… wait, why is the floor shaking? Oh Arceus, there’s no more floor aaaaaaaaaaaa!

I fall down into a dark tunnel where an archaeologist greets me, saying I must’ve solved the puzzle. Are you insane? Your puzzle involves sending people falling into a dark tunnel. You have no regards for anyone’s safety. Forget this, I’m out of here. I caught myself an Unown, but I don’t know much about it. At this point, I’m not too interested in exploring it, so I just leave. I’ve got bigger fish to fry.

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Specifically, this fish.

So now I return to Violet City. Since that creepy man gave me Flash, I reason I can get farther through Dark Cave without bumping into walls. I decided to rest in the Pokémon Center before heading out, so I checked on how Inferno was doing. He was pretty happy: loving the new evolution. I kicked back and relaxed, getting ready to explore the cave, and this day isn’t even half done.

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