I returned to Dark Cave to conquer it… that’s the end of that sentence. I burned through the Zubats and drowned all the Geodudes, but I did end up catching a Dunsparce (Jon). All of this led me to a giant rock blocking my path. Strength? You’ve gotta be kidding me. It’s like they don’t want me to get by this cave. Well forget you, cave! I think Mt. Moon is much better. I planned to just head back towards Violet City, but then that egg started hatching! I put the egg in my hands and watched in awe as the creature inside broke free. It was a… Togepi? Oh, well this is lame. Now Professor Elm has been stalking me and wants to see the new Togepi. Alright fine, let’s go back to New Bark.

I traversed back to New Bark and showed Elm the new Pokémon. Unfortunately he doesn’t want to keep him, so I’m stuck with him. Your name is Erenzu: now get in the box. I think Dahlia is happy is to return to the team. I decided to head down Route 32 so I could get to the next gym. More conversations with Joey:

Joey: Durrrrr, I saw a Pokémon!

Me: Well, did you catch it this time?

Joey: … No, it got away.

Me: You’re the worst trainer ever.

Joey: What about Dawn?

Me: … Second worst trainer ever.

We all knew that Dahlia’s time with the team would be short: bug Pokémon aren’t terrific, let’s just say that. So when I caught a Mareep (Sygnal) down Route 32, it was time to say goodbye to that Spinarak. We’ll remember you always… now get in the box.

Now I reach a tiny Pokémon Center near a cave. When I head in there, this older gentleman calls me over and asks if I want one of his rods. … Johto, I told you about this. I told you no more of the pedo crap, but you keep thrusting older men’s rods on me. Johto, you are the homosex… Eff it, let’s go fishing.

I sit there and fish forever, since fishing is boring as hell. But now something’s on the line. Something’s tugging on that old man’s rod! It’s a Magika-wait, who cares about a Magikarp? I caught it, I shoved it in the box. I was done with it before I even started that battle. Let’s stop fishing. Now I head to the entrance of the Union Cave. Alright cave, I’ve been to Dark Cave, and that sucked. You’d better not screw me over, or there will be hell to pay. I enter the cave, preparing myself for whatever waits inside.

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