Tag Archive: violet city


            As I woke up this morning, I decided to see how Inferno was doing. I let him out of his pokéball, letting him stretch his legs. He was fine; that’s good. I went to the PC and attempted to get my new Gastly out of it, but I couldn’t access it. I asked the nurse what was going on and she told me that all their PCs got viruses, so they had to fix them before Pokémon could be transferred. Great; they really should start using Macs.

Eventually I got Shadow (Gastly) out of the computer to replace Caitlin, so now I was on my way to the gym: I was ready to defeat Falkner! I stormed into the joint and laid waste to his lackeys, sending them to sheer defeat. It was time for the leader. Falkner looked up as I approached and welcomed me into his sanctuary. This gym, like all the other gyms, had a proud history of using one type of Pokémon without any diversification. “Yes, all my Pokémon are weak to the same types. Why do you ask?” This’ll be fun. Falkner sent out his Pidgey, so I countered with Inferno.

His Pidgey attacked Inferno with a series of weak flying moves, but he clearly was outmatched by my fiery destroyer (patent pending), who burned that bird to a crisp with ember. That was an easy first victory for su-oh wait, what’s this? Inferno is glowing! That’s right saan, Inferno evolved into Quilava! That’s what’s up! That was enough for now though: Stallone would take the final battle versus Pidgeotto. This would be an epic battle, right? Rock Throw, dead. Oh, okay, maybe not. Victory is mine!

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Two birds, one stone.

I walk out of the gym, triumphant with my first gym badge, when the professor gives me a call. He got tired of the egg and it’s now my job to take care of it. Oh… what a letdown. I decided to try and hatch the egg when I obtained it from his assistant, so I put Dahlia in the PC for a breather and took the egg. I tried to continue on my way, but a geisha confronts me and tells me to look after the egg. Ok… I planned to, lady. What do you think I’m gonna do, scramble it? Well, at least it’s a woman who’s being creepy to me now instead of a man.

I decided to head back to Elm for reasons I can no longer recall, but I caught some more Pokémon! They included Aeris (Pidgey), Fungo (Sentret), and Chrysalis (Caterpie). Out of three, I decided to put Aeris into the team. Sorry Blathers, maybe another time. So now I’m back in Violet City, and I can head off to Route 36… or not, because there’s a tree blocking the way. The thought of cutting the tree down hasn’t occurred to anyone, so I guess I’m just going down through Route 32.

Now I find myself in some mysterious ruins. I gaze about this site of ruin excavation, and I reason that, as a ten-year-old kid, I shouldn’t be running around here. As it turns out, I was wrong, because I not only can explore the ruins, I can frikken touch them and solve puzzles. Well, so much for look, don’t touch. I decided to try out the puzzle, and what do ya know, I solved it! A Kabuto, huh… wait, why is the floor shaking? Oh Arceus, there’s no more floor aaaaaaaaaaaa!

I fall down into a dark tunnel where an archaeologist greets me, saying I must’ve solved the puzzle. Are you insane? Your puzzle involves sending people falling into a dark tunnel. You have no regards for anyone’s safety. Forget this, I’m out of here. I caught myself an Unown, but I don’t know much about it. At this point, I’m not too interested in exploring it, so I just leave. I’ve got bigger fish to fry.

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Specifically, this fish.

So now I return to Violet City. Since that creepy man gave me Flash, I reason I can get farther through Dark Cave without bumping into walls. I decided to rest in the Pokémon Center before heading out, so I checked on how Inferno was doing. He was pretty happy: loving the new evolution. I kicked back and relaxed, getting ready to explore the cave, and this day isn’t even half done.

When I went into the Pokémon center, a TV announcer asked me to describe how I felt about him in two words. “Hate You.” He couldn’t have been more pleased. This place is just… I don’t even. Where am I again? “Violet City.” How colorful. I caught another Bellsprout to trade to a guy named Rudy, who was too lazy to walk about a hundred feet and catch his own Bellsprout. I’m ten years old, dude: don’t make me do your dirty work. What kind of trainer are you? Anyway, he gave me an Onix. I don’t want it. Into the PC box you go. I went out to explore the city, but another creepy older man in a whole region full of creepy older men who find it invigorating to talk to me asked me if I had been to the Pokémon Academy. Why no, I hadn’t. I was still exploring the ci- “Oh, then we’re going to the academy and you have no say in it!” What the f-

Well… that was a waste of time. I’m done exploring the city: it’s time for my first gym battle! My team is ready to figh- what? I can’t go into the gym until I go to Sprout Tower? Does no one want me to challenge this gym or what? Fine, I’ll go Sprout Tower, but under protest.

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Nothing exemplifies a tower dedicated to a plant better than purple roofs.

I stared up at the tall tower that stood before me. Yeah, this would be a piece of cake. Lemon cake. Yeah, that’s the sh- what, another call? Who now? Frikken Joey again? You are seriously going to lose your phone privileges, Joey.

Me: What now, Joey?

Joey: My Rattata is in the top percentage of Rattata!

Me: … That’s pretty sad. *hang up*

I’m starting to hate that guy. Now let’s enter this tower. I see people milling around, all in love with the Bellsprout. Bellsprout isn’t that great, guys. Seriously, it’s really not. So I climbed the ladders up the tower and put the hurt on some monks. Then I saw a Gastly. There are ghosts in here? This tower is haunted? That’s frikken awesome! Why aren’t you all praising the Gastly? Maybe the tower wouldn’t be as pristine if the support beams were vaporous circles. The tower was a bit tough for my team: both Dahlia and Caitlin were defeated in battle, but Inferno easily ripped through the grass-type’s squishy faces. As I reached the top of the tower, I saw a familiar, ugly face. Horvitz!

I was prepared for a battle, but he didn’t seem interested. He mouthed off about elders and nice people before leaving the tower unopposed. He must’ve spent a lot of time in Florida. So now I’m in the battle of my life against the elder and his army of Bellsprout… okay, they all burned to death. That was the battle of my life? My life really sucks. For defeating him and honoring Bellsprout or something, he gives me the TM Flash. Flash? An old man is giving me Flash? Ok, seriously Johto, cut it out. I’m ten frikken years old. I know you’ve got some creepy NAMBLA fetish here, but step off. I will kick the crap out of any old man who gets up in my face.

I went down the tower and made quick work of the ghosts and plants that fought me every step of the way, but I took the time to catch myself a Gastly. I really like the ghost type, so I’m sure I can find a space in my team. Someone will have to be sacrificed though. I’ll decide tomorrow, though. In the meantime, I’m gonna go sleep in the Pokémon Center and get ready for my gym battle with Falkner tomorrow. Inferno and his ragtag group of Pokémon will show him the ways of children controlling dangerous creatures.

… Wait, Horvitz was there? I thought the police would’ve caught him by now. He’s literally walking around in plain sight with a stolen Pokémon!

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Nine officers of the law, seen here being incompetent.

Team:

Cyndaquil (Inferno): Lv. 13

Geodude (Stallone): Lv. 10

Hoothoot (Blathers): Lv. 6

Spinarak (Dahlia): Lv. 5

Bellsprout (Venus): Lv. 4

Rattata (Caitlin): Lv. 3