Tag Archive: mlb


I happen to be an avid baseball fan. And by avid, I mean that I read lots of books about the history of the game and don’t watch any games actually playing now. So yeah, maybe passive fan would be a better description. Nevertheless, I know enough baseball to have scathing opinions about things that don’t affect me. It’s beautiful, isn’t it?

NL DH

We’ll start this post with some good: the rumors of the eventual implementation of the designated hitter (DH) in the National League. Some people will bemoan this as the continued fall of a once-proud game and further additions of half-players (hitters that can’t field and pitchers who can’t hit). But pitchers never really could hit (there are always exceptions, but not enough). No manager wants a poor hitter in their lineup, and no fan truly wants to see a pitcher try to hit the ball (which is why Frank Thomas is my pitcher in Backyard Baseball).

Don't question it.

The point is that I like the DH rule, and having it in both leagues will be fine by me, plus it will alleviate a new headache, which brings me to my next point…

Astros in the AL and Constant Interleague Play

It’s been known for a while that when the new Astros owner, Jim Crane, bought the team, he was going to have to move the club to the American League. On the surface, it makes sense: there are 16 teams in the NL, and 14 teams in the AL. One team moves to the AL, and now we’re even at 15 all. But should it be the Astros? No, I disagree, and it isn’t just because I’m in Texas. The major point is moving a terrible franchise (Major League-worst 106 losses in 2011) from the 6-team NL Central to the 4-team AL West. But the AL is where the other Texas team (the Texas Rangers) is: what’s the point of putting them together? The other two-team cities have their teams in separate leagues: that’s how it’s always been (New York didn’t count pre-1957 because there were 3 teams, and California post-1957 doesn’t count because they have roughly 2,000 teams). And besides, the Milwaukee Brewers were previously moved from the AL to the NL: why not just move them back? Oh yeah, because Bud Selig owned the team and he’s commissioner now, so he’s going to make sure his precious team doesn’t get jostled around. What a joke. This now reminds me of the second part of this segment: constant interleague play.

CONSTANT INTERLEAGUE PLAY!

When the Astros move to the AL in 2013, there will be yearly interleague play (NL’ers vs. AL’ers). That’s fine in short bursts, but why the whole season? That’s lame. The true test of who’s better is in the world series, not these poser games. And that’s the reason for the NL DH, to avoid having to constantly go from having a DH in AL parks to having no DH in NL parks. Acronyms acronyms acronyms.

Colt .45 Jerseys

Looks like we’re back to the ‘Stros. In their final year in the NL, the Astros want to wear their old jerseys for a few games. When the Astros were first admitted into the league, they were known as the Houston Colt .45s (in 1962). After the 1964 season, they became the Astros. So the commissioner will allow these throwback jerseys, but with one condition: no Colt .45 logo on the Colt .45 jersey.

In a world where censorship nazis take away our freedom... what, that already happened? Darnit.

I’ve seen a lot of stupid things in my time (I went to high school, so I know stupid things when I see them), and this just proves my point that censorship and political correctness has gone way too far. They were called the Colt .45s: what’s the point of a jersey without the logo of the team? I’d understand if it used to be something racist or bigoted, like the Tampa Bay Slave Lynchers (the #1 seed team on Stormfront.org), but it’s just a gun, people. Can nobody be trusted enough to watch a couple ballgames with a gun on the uniform? There are much worse uniforms than that.

The terrorists may have won this battle.

You PC-toting censor nazis really need to find something else to do with your time, because you’re wasting mine.

Instant Replay

I’ve talked about instant replay so much (to myself) that I get tired of it, so some quick points. Instant replay will not slow down the game (advertisements have already done that). Instant replay will make sure boneheaded mistakes (see: Denkinger, Joyce) are corrected. Instant replay will prove the good calls of reputable umpires and will hopefully overturn the sickening displays of such arrogant pricks like Joe West. We get it, you’re a jerk. You get paid less than some players do to sit on the bench and do nothing, so quit the acting and get back to umpiring.

Extra Playoff Teams

Our final talking point will be the new playoff teams. This year, two more teams will be added to the playoffs (making a grand total of ten). There will be a one game elimination, and then… I actually have no idea. Regular playoffs, I guess. But why? Why would they do this?

Oh yeah, that.

There are already eight teams vying for the chance to reach the world series (who actually reached the playoffs), we don’t need any more. It’s a small slope to getting to the exorbitant amount of teams the NFL and NBA allow. Baseball, you’re better than that. Why not just let every team in the playoffs? Except for the Mariners of course. Not even baseball is that stupid.

So what have we learned? Baseball is being ruined by a bunch of greedy pigs. So in conclusion…

Run this man out of town on a rail.

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In the news this week, a 41-year-old teacher is dating his 18-year-old student. This is just… no. Bad teacher. This is almost as bad as Na’Onka (from Survivor). This is barely a part of the blog, but I wanted it to have a barely-tangible part of the title.

Now on to what we’re really talking about: the Wii U. Yes, the Wii U is probably coming out around the time the world ends (December), so we’re all wondering what games will release with it. And by we, I mean Chase and I (or maybe just me). So there are some franchises that haven’t had much love in recent years, and it’s time to bring it back.

Star Fox

Fox McCloud: he was so boss, that people didn’t even care he was a god-danged furry. He shot people with lasers: that’s all I ask of my protagonists.

Why don't you shoot lasers, stupid dog?

The last time Fox was in a new release was Star Fox: Command back in 2006 for the DS (Star Fox 64 3D is a re-release of a re-release and does not count) and hasn’t really been any good since Star Fox Assault for the Gamecube. But back in the day, there was an idea for a new Fox game: Star Fox 2. The idea is old hat, but it doesn’t matter. Going back to this game and giving it a go would be a good way to bring in the Wii U AND bring back good ol’ Fox McCloud back in the game. Just look at those graphics!

Better than most Wii graphics.

This would bring a great return to one of Nintendo’s most venerable franchises: great action, great shooting, great story.

Great character development.

Timesplitters

This is not a Nintendo franchise, but it does not matter! This was my favorite FPS I ever played ever (until TF2). The shooter genre is pretty same-y, but the trio of games (specifically Future Perfect) stood out with its hilarious dialogue and the ability to shoot allies.

"I never liked you, Cortez!"

There was talk of a Timesplitters 4, but nothing has come out yet. Where you at, TS4? It’s time to split, now more than ever!

Ice Climbers

What’s that you say? Ice Climbers aren’t hardcore? They only had one game that was bettered by the same gameplay a year later with Kid Icarus? You don’t know hardcore, 5 people who are reading my blog. Nana and Popo put Master Chief and Nathan Drake to shame erryday. They hear your pleas of saving the polar bears, and they screw you and beat them to death!

I can't hear your animal rights laws over my freaking hammer!

Alright, that’s all. Well, the MLB expanded the playoffs so there are 10 teams instead of 8. This is stupid, and you are a terrible commissioner, Bud Selig. You are diluting the playoffs with lesser teams… and would you add instant replay already?! When is this guy gonna quit already? Probably gonna make an all-baseball blog post sometime. See you later, blog reader(s)! Let’s make fun of John and Ben, since I know they aren’t reading this.

And just so you know, here’s the song that my blog post is titled after (it’s gonna be a recurring trend):

Today’s blog post is dedicated to former Major League Baseball catcher Gary Carter, who died of brain cancer yesterday. One of the great catchers of all time, it’s a shame he had to go.

That’s all I got. I’ll get a good blog post in next time, full of excitement and my inability to drive virtual cars.