Well, it’s been three months, but I’m finally ready to make a new blog post! Just as planned. I’ve a new idea for a series of bloggin’ posts, but for now I’m gonna talk about a “survival” “horror” “game” called Obscure: The Aftermath for the Wii.

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This one.

I’ve only played this game co-op because you can and because the only fun to be derived from it is in co-op, but I’ll get to that.

The plot of this game is… somewhere. Well, actually, the plot and end are immediately told to you by the protagonist Corey, who tells you in some of the worst voiceovers in game history that he and his friends went crazy and killed teachers… and THEN he did bad things and went to jail. The school they went to is Leafmore High, which is definitely a college. It has professors, student dorms, and a guy who went to college two years prior. So anyway, you’re getting ready to go to a party when you do one hit of weed – one hit – and wake up in a swamp. I am pretty positive that drugs do not work like that. At some point I’m going to find a picture for this stupid stuff.

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Look, a distraction!

After you wake up from your hallucination, the game loses all sense of plot and believability (like there was any to begin with?). The last thing you saw was your girlfriend’s head getting eaten off, and when you see her you remind her that you have to get to a party. Priorities, man! The camera is the real nightmare, worse than Super Mario Sunshine and on par with Resident Evil 2. If you stand perfectly still, it will spin in circles like a retarded dog. When you walk forward, best be sure that it will turn to look behind you. It just has no sense of direction whatsoever, which makes aiming extremely difficult.

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I’ll hit something eventually.

The plot is a mess, the camera is a nightmare, and the characters are dull and oblivious. They don’t even seem to care that everyone around them is dying. This game is just awful, although ironically the controls are good somehow. I mean, it’s on the Wii. There is literally only one thing fun in this game: grabbing a melee weapon and beating the crap out of your co-op partner while they yell at you with dialogue that would be more akin to you punching them on the arm. Anyway, I’m done with this crap, and I’m sure I’ll write more blog posts… eventually.

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