(The following ‘blog’ is a faux sports post in the stylings of The Onion)

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As the season winds down for the last-place Arizona Diamondbacks, team General Manager Josh Byrnes has sent down Mike Hampton, who was signed in August, to double-A, where he will play with the D’backs’ Wii Sports unit. “Due to the spotty play of our recent acquisition, we have decided that sending him to play some Wii Sports baseball will do him some good,” said Byrnes, who had taken some heat for signing the oft-injured pitcher. Some have found this to be yet another sad chapter for the two-time All Star, but interim manager Kirk Gibson thinks this will help Hampton get back into shape.

“Ever since Wii Sports came out in 2006, we have used this baseball simulator to train some of our players so they can get a feel for major league hitting in a more comfortable environment,” Gibson said in an after-game press conference. “Occasionally, I even get into the ol’ batting stance and take a few cracks off of Voldemort. Man, that noseless a-hole can’t throw a curve!”

As of press time, Hampton has pitched one game in Wii Sports, allowing 5 runs in 2.1 innings. The D’backs are currently looking for suitors.

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