In the news this week, a 41-year-old teacher is dating his 18-year-old student. This is just… no. Bad teacher. This is almost as bad as Na’Onka (from Survivor). This is barely a part of the blog, but I wanted it to have a barely-tangible part of the title.

Now on to what we’re really talking about: the Wii U. Yes, the Wii U is probably coming out around the time the world ends (December), so we’re all wondering what games will release with it. And by we, I mean Chase and I (or maybe just me). So there are some franchises that haven’t had much love in recent years, and it’s time to bring it back.

Star Fox

Fox McCloud: he was so boss, that people didn’t even care he was a god-danged furry. He shot people with lasers: that’s all I ask of my protagonists.

Why don't you shoot lasers, stupid dog?

The last time Fox was in a new release was Star Fox: Command back in 2006 for the DS (Star Fox 64 3D is a re-release of a re-release and does not count) and hasn’t really been any good since Star Fox Assault for the Gamecube. But back in the day, there was an idea for a new Fox game: Star Fox 2. The idea is old hat, but it doesn’t matter. Going back to this game and giving it a go would be a good way to bring in the Wii U AND bring back good ol’ Fox McCloud back in the game. Just look at those graphics!

Better than most Wii graphics.

This would bring a great return to one of Nintendo’s most venerable franchises: great action, great shooting, great story.

Great character development.

Timesplitters

This is not a Nintendo franchise, but it does not matter! This was my favorite FPS I ever played ever (until TF2). The shooter genre is pretty same-y, but the trio of games (specifically Future Perfect) stood out with its hilarious dialogue and the ability to shoot allies.

"I never liked you, Cortez!"

There was talk of a Timesplitters 4, but nothing has come out yet. Where you at, TS4? It’s time to split, now more than ever!

Ice Climbers

What’s that you say? Ice Climbers aren’t hardcore? They only had one game that was bettered by the same gameplay a year later with Kid Icarus? You don’t know hardcore, 5 people who are reading my blog. Nana and Popo put Master Chief and Nathan Drake to shame erryday. They hear your pleas of saving the polar bears, and they screw you and beat them to death!

I can't hear your animal rights laws over my freaking hammer!

Alright, that’s all. Well, the MLB expanded the playoffs so there are 10 teams instead of 8. This is stupid, and you are a terrible commissioner, Bud Selig. You are diluting the playoffs with lesser teams… and would you add instant replay already?! When is this guy gonna quit already? Probably gonna make an all-baseball blog post sometime. See you later, blog reader(s)! Let’s make fun of John and Ben, since I know they aren’t reading this.

And just so you know, here’s the song that my blog post is titled after (it’s gonna be a recurring trend):

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